By David Galef
Last month, I married myself. My other relationships were short-lived, and I was the one who stayed by me. So I bought a ring, knelt down, and proposed. After I said yes, I found a willing minister. He congratulated me on my Unitarian spirit. At the ceremony, “till death do you part” made me cry.
Unfortunately, it’s not working out. Sure, the sex is good, and there are no dual-career issues. But I’m already quarreling with myself, annoyed at my lazy habits, engaged in petty self-loathing. How could I have made such a mistake? Turns out I’m really not my type.
A great comment on those folks who just can’t seem to get along with anyone–even themselves!
You mean writers? Insert wry emoji here….
You have captured me and my life perfectly. I brings back memories of those days when I assist others in loathing me.
Yeats: “Out of the quarrel with others we make rhetoric; out of the quarrel with ourselves we make poetry.”
Well put, very entertaining!
Thanks. I figure I might as well entertain while self-condemning.
It’s ok to argue with yourself, but when you can no longer win those arguments it’s time to give up.
Oh, I gave up a long time ago.
Enjoyed this immensely. It resonates.
Thank you. Just hope it doesn’t rattle someone’s teeth.
a really fun read!
Thanks. I’m also an Inside Higher Ed humor columnist who writes about a school called U of All People.
Funny and human.
Thank you. Sometimes it’s harder being the second term you mention than the first.
I loved it!! It was funny and true and delightful!
Thanks. Wondering if I should share that remark with my wife, who generally likes my work.
This was a day-maker, so many good tidbits throughout. Thanks for an original thought, well written.
Thanks for the chuckle, and the truth! 🙂
Supercool, crisp and amusing!
At least after sex you don’t have to talk.