His undivided attention smothered her: a breakfast tray that appeared on her lap every morning, scribbled love notes that were shoved under tear soaked pillows, kisses that were planted on turned cheeks, bruises that hid under long sleeved sweaters, heart shaped boxes of chocolates that appeared on Valentine’s Day, birthday presents that were given but no longer appreciated, promises that were made but never kept, family heirlooms shattered in a thousand different pieces, broken bones and a heart that could no longer be mended, unspeakable acts that begged for forgiveness, ashes that were scattered from a fire that burned long ago.
Wow. Powerful.
Thank you Cathy for reading my story and commenting.
Wow. Powerful.
And one long sentence makes a charming story of devotion. Good work, Marjan.
Thank you Glenn.
Strong, tragic. Thank you.
Such contrast.
Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment.
Your metaphor at the end, “Ashes that… Is great!
Thank you Susan.
Excellent blend of the love and all that destroyed it.
Thank you Karen for taking the time to read and comment.
My only advice – keep on writing. The memories will never go away but the pain, bruises and ashes will fade away and your sun will shine again.
Thank you B for taking the time to read my story. This isn’t about my personal experiences. I wrote this for the many women who may never find the strength to articulate their own thoughts and feelings.
I like to write flash fictions that cover a wide range of topics. Thanks again.
This may not be about a personal experience, but you definitely seem to have shared the pain of others.
Wow! This is a great story!
Thank you Brian for your wonderful comment.
Very strong work – keep writing!
Strong writing. A powerful sentence that conveys a lot.
Thank you Meghashri for taking the time to read my story and for your comments.
Love the way you document the passage of time.and the trajectory of abuse.
Thank you Paula for your wonderful feedback.
So powerfully and perfectly written
Thank you Mary Helen.
It’s not often that a single sentence can evoke so much emotion. Well done!
Thank you Susan.
Great use of one-sentence to take us from smothering attention at breakfast to scattered ashes of a long-ago fire.
Thank you Neil.