Beth lay in bed looking out the window, listening to Mr. and Mrs. Miller arguing in the house across the street. Suddenly she heard a scream and saw a spray of red splash across their curtains.
A short time later, she watched Mr. Miller drag a large bag outside, haul it into his trunk, and then drive off.
Beth’s heart raced, but her hands lay unmoving at her side.
“Poor Ted,” her mom said days later as she cleaned Beth’s feeding tube. “He’s put flyers everywhere.”
Beth’s eyes flickered repeatedly toward the window.
“Sorry, Beth, I can’t take you outside now.”
Three stories are embedded in these few words. If it was a movie trailer, I would be putting it on my “watch” list. Excellent!
Well done.
This is very cleverly done!
Hello Jessica,
Well done; a flash adaptation of the movie Rear Window.
Thank you, everyone, for the kind comments. Much appreciated.
Catherine, I thought the same thing before reading the comments. Excellent execution, Jessica!
Wow!
Powerful and scary.
At first I thought the title was lame, but after reading the story I see the double meaning of that title. Nicely done!
Scarily screaming for attention from Dick Tracy. I loved the fast paced building momentum ’till the unexpected conclusion. Oh, how I felt sorry for Beth…):
Excellent! “Beth’s eyes flickered repeatedly toward the window.” I could feel Beth’s frustration!
So good! Thanks for writing.
Fantastic! Love the twist ending! Well done.
I can hardly believe how much you have crammed into 101 words. Fantastic story.
Well done!
Makes you squirm when you think of how powerless Beth must feel inside. It would make a great crime thriller, and I agree, it’s like a couple of stories in one. Well done 🙂
Well put together
Nicely done! Shades of Rear Window.