By Jennifer R. Lloyd
Her gums bled but she couldn’t stop threading the floss. She wound her middle fingers, tips turning bulbous and purple.
“Damn,” she labeled herself, seeing her neighbor’s house through the glass. Memories circled of tangled leashes and knuckles accidentally brushed while walking matching German Shepherds. She dangled by a thread of dignity all the times she snuck from her house to his, the dogs silent witnesses.
Now she tasted infidelity trapped between canines and incisors—vestiges clinging stubbornly to gums—when her husband joined her in the bathroom.
“Jeez, could ya spare some floss?” he said as he kissed her goodnight.
I really enjoyed the opening sentence. It was captivating and enticing.
I felt the way the second paragraph opened caused the piece to loose a bit of moment as the ideas weren’t thoroughly explored or concluded. The last sentence was again great and captured the guilt of the fidelity.
The last two paragraphs were again strong and the direct speech was natural and well timed.
Thanks for the feedback, Charise!
Love the imagery and how it came full circle! Great job!
Thanks, Patti!
A nice comment on the consequences of infidelity–and the lingering love between husband and wife. Loved it.