By Lawrence P. McGuire
Sister Martha invited her third-graders to ask questions about the Garden of Eden.
Hypatia Durkin raised her hand. “Sister, which dinosaurs lived in Eden?”
“None.”
“But, Sister, my mom took me to the Smithsonian here in Washington. I’ve seen their bones.”
“You’ve seen bones of rhinos, hippos, and yaks wired together by scientists to fool gullible children.”
Hypatia stood. “You can’t deny the bones.”
“Child, sit. I say dinosaurs never lived.”
Her classmates nodded their heads, sheep.
Hypatia sat in a scarred plastic chair that enforced good posture. The others could believe in invisible things. She would never deny the bones.
Nicely done.
You’ve chosen the “lighting” subject of skepticism and expressed it in a dialogue between the student and teacher. All good. But the teacher is so stupid she’s not credible and there is no arc of change in the story. The teacher is closed and the student is skeptical throughout the composition. Thanks for sharing.
Excellent. The student stood by her beliefs. To TomThe teacher wouldn’t change. She is that stupid and narrow minded. Great read. Love ro see more from that character.
Great nuance in 101 words is difficult. I liked the scarred plastic chair which enforced good posture. Also, I am finding dialogue gives a great bang for the word in such short stories. Well done.
You introduced the controversy nicely, but there is no change in either teacher or student. Perhaps, neither will ever change, but the characters need more development, why they won’t change, how each feels about the other’s thinking. 101 words is not the right genre for this.I think you should try to write a longer story. Also, why Hypatia? She was a mathematician and astronomer and a pagan.I don’t think she wrote about evolution.
Nicely done. I loved Hypatia and could read a whole book about her 🙂 Or a series of books!
As someone above said, the bit about the chair was a great description, which worked on many levels. And great use of dialogue, which works so well for 101 words.
I agree with others that the Sister wasn’t particularly nuanced… but I don’t know that I *needed* her to be. I see this as a fun tale for kids (still enjoyable by adults), similar to Beverly Cleary’s Ramona books they used to read in my grade school.
Hypatia was the name of great woman philosopher. Well done.
Love this. So spare and so rich. Just my cup of tea 🙂
Hypatia will never deny the bones. Those who deny evolution may never change. Within the space of a question and answer, Hypatia’s wonderment grows into a conviction. The teacher remains as rigid as those bones. There’s movement here – on the continuum between life and death of the spirit of inquiry, which we might call ‘change’.
Well done, even brilliant.