101 Words

101 Word Short Stories

Snails Don’t Cry

30 Comments

By Rita Riebel Mitchell

I cooled my burning cheek in the soft grass.

Daddy warned that he’d give me something to cry about, and he delivered. Just as he reared back for a second swing, I backed away. His fist swiped past my nose and rammed into the doorjamb. Howling like a wounded dog, he lunged forward and slipped. He collapsed, landing with a thud and crack.

I ran outside, hid between the garage and the old shed—a space too narrow for his bulbous body—and curled up beneath a trash can lid. Shivering in the uncut grass, I dreamed I was a snail.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  3. Jake says

    Yikes. Talk about capturing a lifetime in very few words. Well done. It delivers the right emotional punch as well.

    Reply

  12. Dee says

    Someone once said (if I recall correctly): that was like looking at a beautiful horse galloping past a crack in the wall — a fast-moving image that makes a deep and vibrant impression. Fabulous writing, brilliant title. Thank you.

    Reply

  14. WEBB JOHNSON says

    Hi Rita – I’m new. If the comment window is reserved for compliments, I want to add mine. Excellent writing!
    Your 101 words also offer a good flashpoint for discussion. I spent a few enjoyable moments changing the last eleven-word sentence to create different emotional responses. For example:
    “…and awaited his pathetic apologies after his drunken rage wore off.”
    I have to say the child feeling like a snail in a snail’s habitat is powerful and heartwrenching – hard to improve upon, for short fiction.

    Reply

    • Rita says

      Thanks for reading and then taking the time to comment and ponder the scenario. The dad seemed like a drinker to me, too. He obviously has issues!

      Reply

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