They say this subway line has trains to the major galaxies.
Here’s an express train now. The DeLorean-like hatch opens, and I take a few mincing steps forward. This train is going to Andromeda. All aboard! (There’s only me.)
The ride is smooth, and after a time, I no longer feel like vomiting. The ringing in my ears has stopped.
The LED screen, next to the public access defibrillator, displays speed and distance in sci-fi green. I whip out my abacus to make the calculation.
Four hundred and twenty-seven years to Andromeda—I’ll be dust by then! This service is doomed.