By Meghan Louise Wagner
The bartender sets the old man’s change on the counter. He is too preoccupied with his drink to take it, so you reach for it. He doesn’t look up from his whiskey and coke as you crumple the stack in your fist and say to him, “Is this your money?”
“Yes,” he says, showing brittle brown teeth. The glass shakes in his hand.
“Not anymore,” you say, stuffing the sixteen dollars into your macrame thrift store purse.
This is a story you will tell for years. It proves what you’ve always known. That you are tough and other people are suckers.
You did a good job of portraying the main character as a cold, arrogant woman without values. Taking money from someone you showed as being in need financially and emotionally doesn’t make someone tough.
Good story. For me, there was one unanswered question that begs an answer – why does the character remember THIS incident. As the third eye you have to give me a clue since it seems that this is her way of life and you have an inside view to her life.
To stupid to make money any other way than be a piece of —
I agree that it isn’t clear why this particular incident would be told for years. The woman’s callousness obviously guides her approach in life. The details about the purse and the man’s condition are excellent, as is the use of 2nd person. As far as the man being a sucker – I would say “pushover,” not a sucker. He succumbed to a bully but it wasn’t a matter of initial trust.