By Brie Beach
Day in, day out, every day was the same. No more, no less. Work, eat, sleep. Repeat on autopilot. Surely this must be all there is to life.
Until one day I was alive. My heart beat. The sun shone; the breeze wafted. Had I never noticed? It had taken way too much precious time to start living. I was amazed that I’d missed this all along. I had assumed I was fine, but I was surviving, not living. The best days were ahead.
What was it that made the difference?
He did.
How would I explain this to my husband?
I enjoyed this eye-opening story very much. It hits hard and tells the tale of newfound love effectively as well as thoroughly. A brisk pace with no wasted words. I am impressed and want more!
Great beginning. You pulled me in to read more. Ways to improve: give the narrator’s
new lover a character trait that the explains WHY. This will also reveal more of the narrator’s character.
Brilliant title, vibrant story. Very clever with not a wasted word.
Ah, that unexpected ending. It hit like a ton of bricks! Great read!
It’s difficult to pull off such an intriguing story within the small frame of 101 words, but you’ve done it quite incredibly! You conveyed that certain misery in going through the motions, the helplessness of being in a faltering relationship, and then the joy in finding a new beginning worth living.
It is interesting but she is living in a fairytale. I cannot wait for when the time comes for her to tell her husband…when she’s burning in hell. Shame.
Hi Rachel, I’m glad my story evoked emotion in you! I take that as a good sign. I’m pretty sure my character wouldn’t be the first in the history of fiction to have fallen in love with someone other than their spouse, but when I finish making it into a book, I’ll be sure to have her go back to her abusive husband so she doesn’t burn in hell. 🙂
Ma’am I did not mean to offend for I am a critic of the storyline as I identify with one character. My husband and my vows are my life so I was quick to judge. Have a blessed day.
Don’t worry, I wasn’t offended, just had to state the position of the rest of my storyline. I fully understand and I appreciate your comments! You have a blessed day as well.
This was a great piece, no wasted words; some or those of us who’ve been there can relate! The twist at the end hit me like a surprise gift. So nice, I’d like more.
I am in the same boat as Sue. Is there a plan to turn this into a full-length novel or no? I think this could dovetail quite well into the beginning stages of a book!
Thank you both! I really appreciate it. I am In fact working on making it a full-length novel, so hopefully that’ll work out!