By Nico Bell
Bianca killed people. Six. So far.
She stood at the cliff’s edge, her toes curled over the rock, hair whipping in the wind. The sea crashed below as the sun set.
“Don’t do it!” her brother pleaded from behind.
“I know you found the bodies, turned me in.”
“I had no choice.”
Why couldn’t he also possess the gift? To notice evil shining from the worst of humanity? She could have trained him, fought together to kill the monsters.
But as her skin glowed in the growing darkness, her shoulders sagged.
“You did the right thing.”
Bianca breathed deeply and jumped.
Liked it. Is it odd that wanted to know more about the “monsters?”
Thanks for reading my story! Not odd at all ?
Close bond with her brother portayed excellently. Great setting and foreshadowing in the second paragraph seem like a metaphor for the story. She is indecisive and on the”edge” literally, “at the cliff’s edge ” and figuratively, about ending her life. Her hair is “whipping in the wind” like the thoughts about murder and suicide painfully tossing through her brain. The “sea crashed” like her mind and body, and her life ended like the day, with the sunset, brightly and quietly.
Thanks so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Was really busy – opened the email – saw the first line and hooked me in. Had to finish it. Loved it.
Thank you! First sentences are always hard for me so I’m glad you were hooked!
Well-crafted story. Good job.
Thank you!!
Intriguing piece. You paint the scene very vividly in the second paragraph, and the dialogue does its job of moving the story along. I took ‘monsters’ to mean people generally that Bianca takes a dislike to – she’s a psychopathic/misanthropic character.
I took “monsters” the other way. Maybe they were evil people that Bianca killed out of a sense of justice.
I took Bianca as a vigilante that the cops are looking to arrest.
Interesting you have such a different interpretation. That didn’t cross my mind.
I read it the way Mark did.