By Matthew Eaton
The ugly truth illuminated him, much like the streetlights overhead.
Chill bit his skin.
This was the same chill he felt when he was young.
The very same chill when he found no measure of joy in her demise.
He expected justice, but death stole it away from him.
She looked so peaceful in repose, but he knew her obscure secret.
She was an edentate beast, not his mother. She did nothing to stop him.
Ancient screams echoed in his abused heart.
The real monster coaxed him.
There was no reason to live.
She would see him soon.
He stepped forward.
Chilling story! Good job!
Thank you. I appreciate the support.
In my humble opinion, the author posed too many unanswered questions to make an effective story.
I appreciate the honest critique. Thank you for taking the time to read my work.
I hope I worked it out correctly. Abuse of the vulnerable instead of nurturing and protecting. Collusion and an oncoming train which will bring release and hopefully peace.
I’m with rauthor 68 only not as humble. “The ugly truth illuminated him” – really, how so? That inexact phrasing and poor use of language haunt the piece throughout. “obscure secret”? tautology. edentate? Not the same as toothless but strictly descriptive of mammals adapting to eat without teeth – sloths, anteaters etc. But at least this flaw distracts from the utter lack of cohesion.