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The Hedge

May 18, 2023 17 Comments

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The grackles flew into the oleander hedge every morning at sunrise and woke me with their raucous shrieks.

Betty, my neighbor, threatened to cut down the hedge. “I just hate all that squawking,” she said.

“Please, don’t cut the oleanders,” I replied.

One day I returned from work to find the hedge reduced to bare sticks jutting from the leaf-strewn earth. True to her threat, Betty had cut down the oleanders. Three days later, Betty died.

The oleanders have regrown now, but the grackles have not returned and I awaken to silence.

I miss the grackles more than I miss Betty.

By Robert P. Bishop

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Amanda Le Rougetel says

    May 18, 2023 at 9:08 am

    Bad Betty! Who needs a neighbour like that…

    Reply
    • Robert Bishop says

      May 18, 2023 at 4:57 pm

      Amanda…too right, and that is just what the grackles thought as they made sure Betty would never again hack down a hedge. Thanks for reading and commenting.
      Robert

      Reply
  2. Derek says

    May 18, 2023 at 9:37 am

    I learnt a new word from this story. Are we expected to believe that Betty’s unfortunate demise was a co-incidence? Call the cops!

    Reply
    • Robert says

      May 18, 2023 at 5:09 pm

      Derek…yeah, well, the police were suspicious, too, of Betty’s demise. I told them she made a grave mistake by dissing the Great Grackle. Nobody disses the Great Grackle and lives to brag about it. Thanks for reading and commenting.
      Robert

      Reply
  3. Geneviève Goggin says

    May 20, 2023 at 12:43 pm

    I love this story! I especially like that we don’t know how Betty died.

    Reply
    • Robert says

      May 21, 2023 at 4:48 pm

      Hi Geneviève, I’m glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading. Ah yes, will the cause of Betty’s death ever be known….maybe some day.

      Reply
  4. G says

    May 24, 2023 at 8:02 am

    In the end, you got the best of all worlds: no more squawking, no more annoying neighbor, and regrown oleander hedge. Great story!

    Reply
    • Robert says

      May 24, 2023 at 9:17 pm

      Hi G…thanks for reading and the kind remark. Glad you liked the story.

      Reply
  5. Bob Ellis says

    May 24, 2023 at 8:36 am

    Grackles are the only bird I dislike here in our bird preserve community. I have written a published fictional account outling my displeasure with them building nests in my boat lift and pooping all over my boat. They are also adept at knocking lizards from the pool cage and eating them. Smart birds – yes, lamenting their departure – never!

    Reply
    • Robert says

      May 24, 2023 at 9:24 pm

      Hi Bob…I first encountered grackles in Las Cruces, NM. I thought they were pretty cool birds. Noisy, yes, but that was the attraction.

      Reply
  6. David Higham says

    May 24, 2023 at 10:54 am

    A really ingenious story. Loved it.

    Reply
    • Robert says

      May 24, 2023 at 9:25 pm

      Hi David…thanks for reading and the for the kind remark. Glad you liked the story.

      Reply
  7. Marie says

    May 24, 2023 at 1:48 pm

    Really liked it!

    Reply
    • Robert says

      May 24, 2023 at 9:26 pm

      Hi Marie…thanks for reading. Glad you liked the story.

      Reply
  8. Sandra says

    May 24, 2023 at 8:01 pm

    I’d miss the foliage and the fowl, too. Adios Betty!

    Reply
    • Robert says

      May 24, 2023 at 9:35 pm

      Hi Sandra…Thanks for reading. Yep, adios, Betty. A sad ending for her, unless she is reincarnated as a grackle and ends up in the hedge every morning.

      Reply
  9. Bud says

    May 26, 2023 at 4:07 pm

    Nice karmic tale.

    Reply

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