By L. S. Hicks
For ten years she has lived in the same two rooms, three if she counts the alcove where the toilet is. Another ex-boyfriend gone with her money. Two hungry accidents, ages eleven and five.
Sometimes the rage takes over—swinging fists, shaking, shouting. “You want more? Stop crying, or more is what you’ll get!”
Crying or silent, it doesn’t matter. It’s always more. More, until alcohol and exhaustion drop her onto the couch, the bed, or the floor, each stained with whatever happened to fall on it: food, wine, tears, blood.
Awakening, she thinks, Oh, God, I’ve hurt the children… Again.
A gritty, bittersweet tale, well-written.
Glad you liked it. Thanks for letting me know.
Well done. Powerful and moving.
Thanks for your comment.
I liked this story though I am not usually a fan of the dark side of life pieces. I was distracted by the time frames in the first paragraph…10 years In two rooms, mistakes aged 11 and 5 and an ex boyfriend of unstated duration. Maybe the details were unimportant, but seems like 12 years in those rooms would have avoided this distraction.
Thanks for your suggestions—a little less on the time frames would have given me more words for the physical descriptions.
Yes, it’s dark but I’d hoped to suggest a swing to the positive in the last line with the words “Awakening” and “again.”
Nailed it. Good one, Mr. Hicks.
Thanks!
Nice and simple, L.S., like to read more…Tchuess
Glad you like it. What type of flash do you like to read?
Nice and to the point. Too bad it’s only 101 words.
Yes, this could have been a longer—a lot longer 🙂 Thanks for the comment.
Like the content–especially love your delivery and writing stile.
Thank you for letting me know you enjoyed the story. I try to write things as though they are told aloud.