The vampires weren’t sad, exactly. They were just tired of being vampires. But the sex! said the vampire king. The power, the drugs, the immortality! The vampires gazed into the distance, sad. One started a LiveJournal account.
Fine, said the king. Go. Go be something else. See how you like it.
But the vampires didn’t know how to be anything else. They applied for jobs as accountants, beauticians. They got fired for drinking the blood of their clients. The vampire king watched as they tried again, and again. Circling back around. Trying to build new lives with hands that wouldn’t die.