By J M Jackson
We open on a dimly lit cocktail party in a small but opulently furnished apartment. A small number of drunken guests remain after an evening of revelry.
“I say, old sport, what is the meaning of this?”
“What?”
“That! In your hand!”
“Oh, this? Nothing. Don’t worry.”
The man holding the gun is in his thirties with a full head of foppish hair. For two decades he has tried to trace his father.
We are watching the revenge-fuelled culmination of a lifelong search.
A shot is fired without hesitation and a body crumples to the floor. Life quietly drains away.
Curtain.
Sorry ol’ chap, you fired to early…
Superb creation of atmosphere with brevity and accuracy! Bravo!
Great – am imagining a back story.
Told in presence tense…but this works well–very well indeed. Adds a sense of “I am there.” Good job.”
Bobby – would you mean “present” tense? And B up above, would you mean, “you fired TOO early”? Hysterical comment, however! Didn’t do it for me, so sorry. Nice writing any way.