I add more seed to the feeder, cursing the squirrels. I put out corn cobs for the little bastards, but they scale my feeders, driving away the song birds.
I’m about to call animal control again about the goddamn Rottweiler from next door when I realize that it’s a black bear tearing down my feeder. I pick up my broom and stomp out the back door.
“I’ve had it!” I shriek at a bear that’s probably never had an 86-year-old woman confront it. I whack it on the snout with the broom. We both back away…knowing we’ve gone too far.