Like his parents Paul was born underground. Now in his thirties, Paul would like see the surface. No one’s allowed to go outside, no exceptions.
Paul spends his days working, keeping the village sparkling. Everyone who can work, does. But he can’t shake the stories. Every inhabitant of their community too young to remember the disaster had heard stories of the ‘outside’—the sky, stars, trees, mountains, and wildlife.
Paul plans ahead. A month later, he’s at the final hatch. He opens the steel door. It’s so beautiful, he thinks. A few seconds later, he slumps on the cold asteroid surface.
What is the point of this story except from getting from point A to B?
Normally I don’t explain my stories, but since so many 101 Words visitors visit my website I will tell you.
Normally one living underground would expect to exit on Earth not a asteroid.
PS. ALL STORIES are about getting from point A to point B whether that is a place, frame of mind, etc. or not.
I just started writing a few years ago (Art & poetry a long time) So I hope you’re not expecting New York Time best seller material on this site. (Or at least from me.) Yes I am just average or below.
DON’T WORRY MARK I HAVE MORE STORIES.
I really like this – clever twist leading us towards dystopian earth but actually taking us to space travel, nice one!
Morlockian. I like it.
Good story, Denny. I’ve read many stories with this theme–and you pulled a GREAT surprise ending. I didn’t expect that at all. An asteroid. Love it! Keep on writing them!
Stories solely based on surprise ending are a sign of an amateurish writing. Take it from someone who spent all his life writing and editing flash fiction.
Mark, I am a amateur writer. My main thing is art. (Of course some don’t like my artwork either and call it amateurish) But I have to start somewhere and when it comes to writing, that is from the beginning or bottom. When it come to artwork, poetry, and fiction I can only be me and wouldn’t have it any other way.
PS. Would rather write a story with a surprise ending instead of the tons I see with no ending. The ending is 1/3 of a story.