I watched her walk down the silent street towards me, yellow umbrella gleaming against the drab, grey stone buildings. Chestnut boots; I’d noticed them in the cafe when I picked her out. I’d liked the way her long blonde hair framed her face as she leaned over her coffee.
Thunder cracked across an indigo sky. Streetlights flickered in the haze. Edges blurred. Fast falling snow deadened my footfall.
I fondled the slender silk scarf and slowly drew it from my pocket. My fingers tingled. My heart beat slowed. A thrill of anticipation coursed through me.
My first, but not my last.
Suspense in few words. Well written.
Thank you. Much appreciated.
Well done! I experienced a hitch in my breathing for just a moment.
Unsettling, almost poetic imagery. Well done!
This is incredible. The pace and suspense is right on target. Great job!
The build up of the sinister plan highlighted by the picking out of the woman, the deadened footfall and the fondling of the silk is enough to make your skin crawl at the promise of the inevitable action.
This story begs to be turned into a novel. Well done!
Well you might be interested to know that it’s actually distilled from a short story of 3,200 words.
Well done!
Thank you everyone for such lovely comments.