By Coco Jane
“Gift wrap, ma’am?”
“Yes, for the Yorkie figurine,” answered Cheryl. “It’s for my boss.”
“And the aphrodisiac lotion?”
“Why not? My husband will enjoy opening it.”
Back at work, Ms. Nakamura, Cheryl’s friendly and helpful boss, was not in her office. Smiling, Cheryl jotted ‘Merry Christmas from Cheryl’ on the gift tag and left the package on her desk.
When she arrived home, Rick was reading the newspaper.
“I brought you—us—a present, darling.” Cheryl winked. “Here, open it now.” She licked her lips and began unbuttoning her blouse.
Then she heard Rick say, “Oh, what a cute little dog.”
Nicely written; bright and cheerful to read, but a tad predictable (difficult to avoid in 100 words, I know).
Beautiful!
“She licked her lips and began unbuttoning her blouse.” this has a light flirtatious tone. But, the twist has been done before, both with comic and tragic endings.
I liked this better on the second reading when I considered the explosion in Cheryl’s head, the lightening speed in which she does up her blouse and rushes out of the house like a Fury praying that Ms Nakamura has still not returned to her desk. All the while her husband is wondering if it was something he said.
Thanks, Constanee! That would be a great sequel .. . but not needed since your imagination filled it all in nicely!
Loved it, enjoyed it. The classic switched gift twist, fully executed in 101 words. The diving coaches watch the replay, and then the scores come. Straight 10s. Except for the Russian judge. Grrr. cheers
Thanks, Eric.
Predictable, but very well written. Fun little story.
Uh-oh! 🙂 Very fun. Nice build-up, and you managed to work a lot of dialogue and plot into your 101 words!
This is a very good example of making a story work in spite of a predictable ending. Wonderful use of dialogue and imagery.
Oh, this story is great. It made me laugh.
Great. Thank you.