Hello. My name is Ursula. I want to unsubscribe from your mailing list. Do you possess the capability to remove me or must I forever bear this cross? It’s just that I used to love to read about the newest in nail polish colors and the goings-on at celebrity barbeques—but now I’m sick of it.
I’m at a stage in my life where I need something more. So, could you please subscribe me to Wrestling For Dollars. Last week’s battle royal pitting a reality TV star in yellow leotards with unruly elephants was truly great theater. More of this, please.