By Katlina Sommerberg
The engineer worked with a tiny flashlight between her teeth. Oxygen deprivation turned her eyelids heavy. She’d die, and take the whole generation ship with her.
Her eyes blinked closed, but she jolted awake when the wires burned her fingers, accidentally fused two ends of the glowing blue wire. She hurriedly freed it from the power relay, hope welling inside of her.
Desperately reckless, she bypassed the anti-grav panel and completed the circuit.
The overhead lights flickered.
She waited, anticipating the crash into dead blackness. The milliseconds ticked into seconds, and the ship’s power ticked on.
Crisis averted. For now.
I am so there! You draw us into the crisis and I am rooting for the heroine and sucking in a desperate breath with her. Well done.
Saved! we can breathe now. I see this as a chapter in a preteen novel.
Dynamite snippet!
Good build up of tension and I love the phrase ‘desperately reckless’ – well done.
This is a nice tight scene. I see it as a piece of a longer work. I don’t get a sense of where they are or why there is this crisis. Maybe give the engineer a name so that we feel as if we know her.
Hope you write full length book … excellent.